Try
by joedan84
Summary: Lex is upset about Lionel not being there when Lillian died. When he confronts Lionel, Lex gets a whole different outcome than he ever thought possible. Could this be the beginning to happily ever after?


Started: November 8, 2002

Finished: November 11, 2002

Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Lineage

Pairing: Lionel, Lex (not incest!)

Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)

Category: Drama

Spoilers: major Lineage

Summary: Lex is upset about Lionel not being there when Lillian died. When he confronts Lionel, Lex gets a whole different outcome than he ever thought possible. Could this be the beginning to happily ever after?

Disclaimer: I do not own Lex or Lionel…or the yummy Michael Rosenbaum, or talented John Glover. I am only using them for my own enjoyment, and to act out my own dreams.

****

Try

Lionel could hear Lex pacing as he entered the office. "What _is_ it, Lex?" he asked tiredly.

Lex turned to his father.

"Lex, I can sense your anger from here," Lionel told him, taking a seat in one of the plush chairs.

"Were you with her when Mom died?" Lex asked bluntly.

Lionel seemed taken aback, then he quickly composed himself. "What are you talking about?"

Lex sat on the ottoman in front of Lionel. "Were you with Rachel when Mom died?" he asked, putting forced control into his voice. "Is that why you weren't there?"

"Son, your mother died nine years ago. It's in the past," Lionel said, his hand absently rubbing the tip of his cane.

"That's irrelevant. Why weren't you there?" Lex asked again.

Lionel was silent, his face devoid of any emotion.

"She called your name. Those last few days," Lex told him, trying to penetrate Lionel's façade.

"You're lying," Lionel replied, his voice filled with more pain than he had intended.

"She called your name and you weren't there," Lex repeated.

"Stop!" Lionel's voice reverberated throughout the room, startling Lex.

"Did you love her?" Lex asked, his voice softening.

"I loved her more than anything. That was the problem," Lionel sneered.

"Why was that a problem?" Lex asked calmly.

"You don't know what it's like to watch the only woman you've ever loved; the only woman who's ever loved you; die, Lex," Lionel told him, his breathing shallow.

"Dad-" Lex started. 

"No, I need to say this. I need you to understand," Lionel said, his voice not holding it's usual controlling tone.

"Go ahead," Lex told him.

"Lillian was the most important thing in my life. She was in such pain those last few weeks. I couldn't bear to see her like that. I felt like someone was tearing pieces of my heart away slowly," Lionel explained, his voice becoming hoarse. His knuckles were white as he gripped his cane.

"So you immersed yourself in LuthorCorp so you wouldn't have to think about it," Lex finished, knowing the feeling.

Lionel nodded once.

"You weren't the only one who lost someone they loved that day," Lex told him. "I lost my mother."

"I know, Lex," Lionel answered.

"Why-" Lex started. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes briefly. "Why didn't you love me?"

Lionel seemed shocked. "I- I did."

"No, you didn't," Lex told him, not missing a beat. He stared into Lionel's unseeing eyes. "You were hard on me. You treated me like I couldn't take care of myself. You tried to control me."

"I was scared," Lionel said, barely audible.

"What were you scared of?" Lex asked, leaning into his father a little more.

Lionel pushed himself from his chair, walking a few steps, and turning his back to Lex. "I was scared that if I didn't keep a tight reign on you that I'd lose you like I lost Lillian."

Lex followed Lionel with his eyes. "You lost me, anyway."

Lionel turned to face Lex. "Don't you think I know that?" he asked loudly. "I didn't know what to do."

"Try being there for me. Try supporting me for once," Lex said, standing. "Try telling me you loved me every once in awhile."

"It's not that simple, Lex," Lionel said, turning his back to Lex again.

"It _is_ that simple, Dad," Lex said, walking to the door. "I have business to attend to."

"Lex," Lionel called.

Lex paused in the doorway. "Yes?"

"I love you," Lionel said sincerely, his voice soft.

Lex looked like he had been punched in the stomach. "I love you, too, Dad," he said, his tone matching his father's.


End file.
